Lost tribe of Westwood

Bad day at Hallmark
Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day........


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M y tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat

When I looked at the tire..

I noticed your cat.

Sorry!


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H eard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it...

She moved in with me.



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L ooking back over the years

that we've been together,

I can't help but wonder...

"What the hell was I thinking?"



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C ongratulations on your wedding day!

Too bad no one likes your husband.



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H ow could two people as beautiful as you

Have such an ugly baby?



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I 've always wanted to have
someone to hold,

someone to love.

After having met you ..

I've changed my mind.



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I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.

I never believed in Hell until I met you.



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A s the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...

That you're not here to ruin it for me.



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C ongratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...

Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

You'll probably need it again.



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H appy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in Tennessee , Kentucky & West Virginia )



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H appy birthday! You look great for your age.

Almost Lifelike!



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W hen we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.

Now that we've broken up,

I think it's time you kept your promise.



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W e have been friends for a very long time ..

let's say we stop?



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I 'm so miserable without you

it's almost like you're here.



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C ongratulations on your new bundle of joy.

Did you ever find out who the father was?



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Y our friends and I wanted to do

something special for your birthday.

So we're having you put to sleep.



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So your daughter's a hooker and it spoiled your day
Look on the bright side
It's really good pay