The Great Gas Out.

The great gas out, the day where people boycott the gas station, has come and gone. In my past blogs I explained why this would not work and what would happen if they had a gas out day. I just didn't realize it would happen so fast and with such vengeance. The gas companies showed us who is in control. They bumped the gas up twenty cents per gallon. Today it is expected that they will raise it another twenty cents or more per gallon. The word from the gas and oil companies is very clear. "Don't mess with us, you are dependent on us and we can pull the rug out from under you at any time we want." " If you don't like it, complain to your elected officials."
They know that this will have no effect for the following reasons
1) Every time the gas prices go up, the state and federal govt. gets more tax revenue.
2) This is a democracy, supply and demand, and people have a right to make a profit.
3) If you don't like the price, don't buy the gas.

Then you have to love their excuses for raising the price.
1) Hurricanes
2) Refineries on recess
3) Demand is up
4) The war in Iraq.
5) Government regulations
6)Retooling
7) etc.................

You want answers? You want the truth? "You can't handle the truth."

1) Boycott one brand of Gas for a month. Then move on to the next brand. United they stand, divided they fall.
2) All new vehicles have to get more then 25 miles per gallon.
3) Remove all the taxes on gas, and put it on alcohol.

Finally, have the Governor and state officials explain where all the taxes from gas sales are going. The state is having the largest windfall of tax revenue, and the Gov. wants to raise your taxes.

The elected officials are screwing you and raising the cost of the vasaline to do it.

I was sent the following from a friend and I thought I would share it with you all. This is also what heart attacks are made of.

What gives parents gray hair... A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed nicely made and everything neat and tidy. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Dad, It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and Mom. I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice. I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, and her tight motorcycle clothes and because she is so much older than I am but it's not only the passion, Dad---she's pregnant. Joan says that we are going to be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood---enough for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Joan has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better---she sure deserves it! Don't worry Dad---I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.
Your son, Chad

P.S. Dad, None of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my desk drawer. I love you! Call when it's safe for me to come home.

NAME CALLING.

I realized after my last blog that I will most likely be called homophobic.
I was told by another pastor that you should never do a sermon on homosexuality or racism because you will be called a homophobic or a racist.
Take your best shot. Both are sins and should be talked about. Everyone has an opinion, and just because you may not agree with them, you shouldn't take to name calling.

Did you ever notice that in politics there is always a right and a wrong. Someone always has to be wrong. There is good reason for this. If we all agreed on everything, there would be no need for political parties thus putting half the politicians out of a job. In the same vane, if there was no sin, we would all live in Harmony, love, and understanding. Even though this is impossible, maybe we could just try. A little less categorizing and name calling will be a good start.

This past Sunday, I heard a pastor refer to God as man or women. I believe that this is the most ignorant statement I have ever heard. Quoting from the bible, "God is a spirit, and those who worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth." Once again you have the ignorant reply that" Man was made in the image of God." If you take that passage literally, than women was made in the image of man, because she came from Adam's rib. Why then is women different then man? God is not gender based. We call God "him" for the same reason we call a ship, "her". Our small intellect has no other way of discerning.

The same people come up with idea that homosexuality is right. The Bible clearly states that this is a sin. Do you then hate the gay person? Let's see, "We have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God." Of course you don't hate or ignore the gay person. The same as you don't hate and ignore all people who have sinned.

Let's not make our faith more complicated. Love God, and love each other.

Now that I have that off my chest, I can smile again.

The elderly priest, speaking to the younger priest, said,"It was a good idea to replace the first four pews with plush bucket theater seats. It worked like a charm. The front of the church always fills first now." The young priest nodded, and the old priest continued, "And you told me adding a little more beat to the music would bring young people back to church, so I supported you when you brought in that rock'n'roll gospel choir. Now our services are consistently packed to the balcony."
"Thank you, Father," answered the young priest. "I am pleased that you are open to the new ideas of youth." "All of these ideas have been well and good," said the elderly priest, "But I'm afraid you've gone too far with the drive-thru confessional." "But, Father," protested the young priest , "my confessions and the donations have nearly doubled since I began that!" "Yes," replied the elderly priest, "And I appreciate that. But the flashing neon sign, 'Toot 'n Tell or Go to Hell' cannot stay on the church roof.

I just received an email that was informing me of a "gas out" on May 15th. To protest the rising cost of gas, they are incouraging people to boycott and not buy gas on that day. In my humble opinion this will only cause two things to happen. The dealers will lose money and that can't be all bad, and the the giants will lose money. The giants will pass on the losses to the dealers, and they will pass it on to you in price increase at the pump. You want to hurt them, ride a bike. Don't wait till your tank is empty, fill it every day with small amounts. ( Less then $5.)
Most gas station have food and drinks. Cut back on buying these items.

In this state where unemployment is high, cost of living is rising, the Govenor wants to tax everyone to save her job, and now Gas is over $3.00 per gallon. She wants a gas tax. a liquer tax, a boat tax, in other words, a fun tax. You must remember that your elected officials are backed by the same people that are sticking it to you. Have a fun day.

Subject: For all the dirty minds
For all the dirty minds......
An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as partof his physical exam.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bringback a semen sample tomorrow."
The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office andgave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, "Well, doc, it'slike this - first I tried with my right hand, but nothing.
Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.
Then I asked my wife for help.
She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing.
She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teethout, still nothing.
We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, firstwith both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it betweenher knees, but still nothing.
The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbour?"
The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get the jar open.

Let's say I break into your house
A lady wrote the best letter in the Editorials in ages!!! It explains things better than all the baloney you hear on TV.
Her point:
Recently large demonstrations have taken place across the country protestin g the fact that Congress is finally addressing the issue of illegal immigration.
Certain people are angry that the US might protect its own borders, might make it harder to sneak into this country and, once here, to stay indefinitely.Let me see if I correctly understand the thinking behind these protests. Let's say I break into your house.Let's say that when you discover me in your house, you insist that I leave.But I say, "I've made all the beds and washed the dishes and did the laundry and swept the floors. I've done all the things you don't like to do. I'm hard-working and honest (except for when I broke into your house).
According to the protesters: You are Required to let me stay in your houseYou are Required to add me to your family's insurance planYou are Required to Educate my kidsYou are Required to Provide other benefits to me & to my family(my husband will do all of your yard work becausehe is also hard-working and honest, except for that breaking in part).
If you try to call the police or force me out, I will call my friends who will picket your house carrying signs that proclaim my RIGHT to be there.
It's only fair, after all, because you have a nicer house than I do, and I'm just trying to better myself. I'm a hard-working and honest, person, except for well, you know, I did break into your houseAnd what a deal it is for me!!!
I live in your house, contributing only a fraction of the cost of my keep, and there is nothing you can do about it without being accused of cold, uncaring, selfish, prejudiced, and bigoted behavior.
Oh yeah, I DEMAND that you learn MY LANGUAGE!!! so you can communicate with me.
Why can't people see how ridiculous this is?! Only in America .

What a beautiful sunrise. I layed back in bed, in my new home, and watched the sunrise. It was spectacular. I'm sure this was Gods sign to me that everything will be better. Listening to all the birds chirping reminds me of what God listen to. Everyone chirping to God for reason of bad or good. Well God, today is my chirping for good. Thank you for all your blessings to me, my family, and my friends. My blessings from you far outweigh my problems. Thank you God.

My heart goes out to those associated with the massacre at Virginia Tech. Once again, a person who is shunned by society lashes out with deadly consequences. No one ever believes that this can happen where you live, so we go on ignoring the problem. My prayers are not only for the victims and their families, but a prayer that this will not happen again. Unfortunately, our schools are breeding this kind of behavior. Everyone will look at the person who wants to be alone, and think that this person is the next killer. Teachers will pick out the students that they believe will be of danger, and thus hurts the innocent ones. After Columbine, everyone who wore dark clothes and were not popular were ostracized. Instead of drawing people together, people will be drawn apart.
I'm not saying that the killer was justified, I'm just saying that we can help stop this from happening. In school and in the work place I see lying, gossip, innuendos, and mockery for no reason. I see more people concerned more for themselves then helping others.
Take time in your prayers and examine yourself. Pray that you can be a beacon of light and hope, and not the problem.

April 17, 1982, A day that will live in infamy. A young, brash, cocky, and self confident young man married an absolutely beautiful young lady. Twenty five years later, this overweight fellow is still married to the most beautiful woman in the world. During these years, we have raised three kids in three states. We have suffer physically and mentally. We have lost friends to death, a house to crooks, lost jobs and health, and our trim waist line to age. We have gained new friends and a new house. To all our friends out there," thank you for being our friends". To all of you who are not our friends, it's not too late.
Through our many highs, and many lows, there has been one constant. LOVE. Love of God, love of family, and love of friends, and love of each other. I will still let the world know that I love my wife with all my heart, and look forward to our many years ahead.

Let me start this by saying , "What Don Imus said was wrong, wrong, wrong. Let me also say, "What Rev. Sharpton, and Rev. Jackson said was wrong, wrong, wrong." All three should be fired and not allowed to have their opinions on National TV. Rev. Sharpton( All white people are racist), and Rev. Jackson ( hymee town) Jackson should not cast stones until they take the speck out of their own eyes. These two "Rev." Libeled the Duke lacross players because a black hooker said that she was raped by the white players. This was not only libel, but racially motivated. I have yet to hear an apology from these men of the cloth.
The only innocent people in this tragedy were the Duke lacrose players, and the Rutgers coach and players.( and the rest of the world that had to listen to this worthless dribble).
What these three men did for their 5 minutes of TV is beyond reprehensible. There is no excuse for their behavior. Don Imus was just being an ass, and deserves what he got. Jesse and Al are trying to be Dr. King wannabes. The only thing these two clowns showed me, was how big of a man Dr. King really was. Dr King sought to have the races come togather, these two are trying to break us apart.
My prayer is for all the world. Don Imus does not represent the white people and Al and Jesse don't represent the black people. Look to your local pastors. They are the ones in the trenches. If they are true men of God, they will not be politically motivated. Don't be moved by political correctness, but by the love of God to all men. God loves all people, saints and sinners. He even loves me.

A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."
The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, "What would you like to talk about?"
Oh, I don't know", said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?"
"OK," she said. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass, the sa me stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"
The stranger thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea,"
To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"

How many of us have wished we had said this to someone? How many of us needed to have others said this to us?

The snow is melting, the sun is shinning more, and spring is getting closer. I realize that I live in a state where snow and cold are a possibility, but let just have a little less snow and cold. The experts would want to call it global warming. el ninio, or something else, but I just call it common sense. I am warm blooded and I like warm weather. Even though global warming may have some truth to it, it is trapped in the lies of politics and greed. Just give me some warm weather. The only warming I am seeing is the hot air from Hollywood liberals. We have enough of the type of warmth in the Hot air of war hungry Conservatives.
O well, I guess the snow has to melt somehow.

It's snowing, its below freezing, and it's just before Easter. This truely is Michigan.

Tuesday morning, and there are thunderstorms. Later this week there will be snow. This must be Michigan.
Today will be a fun filled day. There are still lots of boxes to unpack. Tomorrow the construction crew shows up to work on the kitchen.
This week will pretty much be the same, except that I have to write a sermon for Easter sometime this week. Maybe I'll talk about how Jesus traveled light, and didn't have a home to worry about. "Son Of God, or vagabond". How about, "Martyrdom, once is enough." I shouldn't try to write sermons on a empty mind. You all have a great day.

It's Monday morning and I am writing from our new home. The next days and weeks will be the joy of unpacking, storing, and remembering where you stored it. We need trips to the dump to get rid of old carpeting.

The hardwood floor under the old wool carpet came back to their orginal beauty with just a little wood restorer.

Every room is basiclly set, and now will add all the stuff in the boxes to fill out the rooms.

Last night, while we were at church, someone tried to break in to the house. My daughter was upstairs, called the cops, and yelled to who ever it was that she was coming down with a gun. The cops got there right away, but the intruder had fled (with nothing).

Well, more work awaits me, and it is not getting done unless we do it. Where do i start? DAMIFINO

Here we go. It is 7:30 in the morning and I'm sitting at my computer. I have taken my meds, and am drinking my coffee. No one else is a wake yet. Today will start soon enough. I look outside, and see that it is raining. Great, on a day like today, it starts out raining. At 9:00 this morning we do our final walk thru of our house before we sign the papers. At 10:00 we have our signing. One that is done, we will receive our keys and the house is ours. Instead of celebrating, all hell breaks loose. I have to take our deed to the water dept to get our water and sewage signed up. Fortunatly we have already did the gas and electric, mail, and paper. We will be starting to pull up all the carpet in the house. Donald and his friends(with pickup truck ) will start hauling boxes over to the house and put them in the garage. On the return trip they will drop off old carpet in the dumpster. Catherine and Lindsey will coordinate things at the apartment, like boxing their bedroom. Sometime I have to buy a gas grill so we can cook meat for the workers. Once the floors are preped, they have to be uerethaned. At 1:00 Tim is coming over to measure the kitchen, diagram it so that we can cut open an openning between the kitchen and the dinning room. Joel is sending one of his workers to cut the openning. By the end of today, we hope to have all the boxes and small items moved, the kitchen preped, and the floor urethaned. Saturday will be the moving of the big items in Louie's truck. It also will be the day that the cable company will show up to install cable lines. Anything that hasn't been moved will be moved and the apartment cleaned out. Saturday evening we have to go and clean the church.
Sunday is Palm Sunday, and we have two worship services, and have to hand in our keys to the apartment complex.

I realize that April 1 is April fools day, and I hope the joke is on someone else. Love ya all

Age old delema. Why is it when you want something to happen right away, it will take time for it to happen. We close on our new house 10 am on Friday. Tick, tick, tick. Im living amoung boxes. Ive changed adresses and services and time drags on. When Friday does happen, we have fourty-eight hours to prep the new house and move out of our apartment. At that point time will be flying.

TO THOSE OF YOU NOT FAMILIAR WITH JOE ARPAIO
HE IS THE MARICOPA, ARIZONA COUNTY SHERIFF AND HE KEEPS GETTING ELECTED OVER AND OVER.
THIS IS ONE OF THE REASONS WHY:
It was Sheriff Joe Arpaio who created the "Tent City Jail"
He has jail meals down to 40 cents a serving (actually 20 cents)and charges the inmates for them.
He stopped smoking and porno magazines in the jails. Took away their weights Cut off all but "G" movies.
He started chain gangs so the inmates could do free work on county and city projects.
Then he started chain gangs for women so he wouldn't get sued for discrimination.
He took away cable TV Until he found out there was a federal court order that required cable TV for jails. so he hooked up the cable TV again, only let in the Disney Channel and The Weather Channel.
When asked why the weather channel He Replied, "So they will know How hot it's gonna be while they are working ON my chain gangs".
He cut off coffee since it has zero nutritional value.
When the inmates complained, he told them, "This isn't the Ritz/Carlton. If you don't like it, don't come back."
He bought Newt Gingrich's lecture series on videotape that he pipes into the jails.
When asked by a reporter if he had any lecture series by a Democrat, he replied that a democratic lecture series might explain why a lot of the inmates were in his jails in the first place.
More on the Arizona Sheriff:
With Temperatures Being Even Hotter Than Usual In Phoenix (116 Degrees Just Set A New Record), the Associated Press Reports: about 2,000 inmates living in a barbed-wire-surrounded tent encampment at the Maricopa County Jail have been given permission to strip down to their government-issued Pink Boxer Shorts.
On Wednesday, hundreds of men wearing boxers were either curled up on their bunk beds or chatted in the tents, in which the temperature reached 138 Degrees inside the week before.
Many were also swathed in wet, pink Towels as sweat collected on their chests and dripped down to their PINK SOCKS.
"It feels like we are in a furnace," said James Zanzot, an inmate who has lived in the TENTS for one year. "It's inhumane."
Joe Arpaio, the tough-guy sheriff who created the tent city and long ago started making his prisoners wear pink, and eat bologna sandwiches, is not one bit sympathetic. He said Wednesday that he told all of the inmates: "It's 120 degrees in Iraq and our soldiers are living in tents too, and they have to wear full battle gear, but they didn't commit any crimes, so shut your mouths!"
Way to go, Sheriff! Maybe if all prisons were like this one there would be a lot less crime and/or repeat offenders. Criminals should be punished for their crimes - not live in luxury until it's time for their parole, only to go out and commit another crime so they can get back in to live on taxpayers money and enjoy things taxpayers can't afford to have for themselves.

A man and his wife were getting a divorce at a local court, but the custody of their children posed a problem. The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them.
The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked for his side of the story. After a long moment of silence, the man rose from his chair and replied: "Judge, when I put a dollar into a vending machine, and a Pepsi comes out, does the Pepsi belong to me or to the machine?"
Don't laugh, he won!

Don't let this happen to you.Home Depot ScamA "heads up" for those men who may be regular Home Depot customers. Over theLast month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simplygoing out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't benaive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends. Here's howThe scam works:Two seriously good-looking 20-21 year-old girls come over to your car as youare packing your stuff into the trunk. They both start wiping yourwindshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out oftheir skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to look. When you thank them andoffer them a tip, they say "No" and instead ask you for a ride to anotherHome Depot or Lowe's.You agree and they get in the back seat. On the way, they startundressing. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and startsCrawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet.I had my wallet stolen December 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the15th, 17th, 20th, & 24th. Also January 2nd, 3rd, twice on the 5th, threetimes just yesterday and very likely again this upcomingweekend. So be careful and tell your friends to be careful.

What a month.

Last month ended when my father died. He wa 84 and suffered from alzhiemer and death was somewhat a blessing. This was a long and tough week.
We have been working on buying a house and moving out of this apartment. We got pre approved financing and had found our house after a long search only to find out if was just sold. After more searching we found another house and made an offer on it. It took two weeks of going back a forth before they agreed on our offer. What made this more nervious is that we had given our 30 day notice to our apartment. Now we have to try to close, and fix up the house in 3 weeks. On top of this, my blood preasure is going wild, Liz is still full time and at school.
The car has had new rotars, new radiator, and a thermostat this month. all of these happened seperatly.
A friend of mine's sister passed away. This was also a blessing after a long illness. It still doesnt make it easier for him and his family.

To top off a weird month, "Sundance", the best singer ever on "american Idol" was voted off the show by america. He was beaten by a person who couldn't sing, but was very femanine looking. it just goes to show that our young people value looks over substance..

Well keep us in your prayers about our house, and pray that everything goes smoothly

Two Wolves

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, "My son, the battle is between two "wolves" inside us all.
One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence,empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."
The grand son thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: "Which wolf wins?"
The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

PRAISE GOD, MY FATHER IS DEAD.

You might think that this is very cruel and insensitive,but it is not. This morning at 1 am, my father ended a five year battle with altimerz desease. Thru this time, my father may have lost his mind, his ability to speak, his ability to walk, and his abibility to care for himself, but he never lost the the ability to praise his God and remember all the songs and prayers. Even when he could not remember his own name, he never forgot his God. The devil threw his best shot at my father, and the devil lost. Thank you God for rewarding my father and taking him home. Thank you God for giving me such a fantastic father.

A member of a certain church, who previously had been attending services regularly, stopped going. After a few weeks, the pastor decided to visit him.
It was a chilly evening. The pastor found the man at home alone, sitting before a blazing fire. Guessing the reason for his pastors visit, the man welcomed him, led him to a comfortable chair near the fireplace and waited.
The pastor made himself at home but said nothing. In the grave silence, he contemplated the dance of the flames around the burning logs. After some minutes, the pastor took the fire tongs, carefully picked up a brightly burning ember and placed it to one side of the hearth all alone. Then he sat back in his chair, still silent. The host watched all this in quiet contemplation. As the one lone ember's flame flickered and diminished, there was a momentary glow and then its fire was no more. Soon it was cold and dead.
Not a word had been spoken since the initial greeting. The Pastor glanced at his watch and realized it was time to leave. He slowly stood up, picked up the cold, dead ember and placed it back in the middle of the fire. Immediately it began to glow, once more with the light and warmth of the burning coals around it.
As the pastor reached the door to leave, his host said with a tear running down his cheek, "Thank you so much for your visit and especially for the fiery sermon. I shall be back in church next Sunday."
We live in a world today, which tries to say too much with too little. Consequently, few listen. Sometimes the best sermons are the ones left unspoken.

Five (5) lessons about the way we treat people.
1 - First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady.
During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions until I read the last one:
"What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?" Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name?
I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade.
"Absolutely, " said the professor. "In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say "hello."
I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.
2. - Second Important Lesson - Pickup in the Rain
One night, at 11:30 p.m., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rain storm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to hel p her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960's. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab.
She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached.
It read: "Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dy ing husband's bedside just before he passed away... God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others."
Sincerely, Mrs. Nat King Cole.
3 - Third Important Lesson - Always remember those who serve.
In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him.
"How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked.
"Fifty cents," replied the waitress.
The little boy pulled is hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it.
"Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired.
By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient.
"Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied.
The little boy again counted his coins.
"I'll have the plain ice cream," he said.
The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and le ft. When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies..
You see, he couldn' t have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.
4 - Fourth Important Lesson. - The obstacle in Our Path.
In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping! the roads clear, but none did anythi ng about getting the stone out of the way.
Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand!
Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.
5 - Fifth Important Lesson - Giving When it Counts...
Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare &serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister.
I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes I'll do it if it will save her." As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheek. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded.
He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away".
Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.

THE HUSBANDANDTHE FORGOTTEN WEDDING ANNIVERSARY Ed was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 4 seconds, ANDIT BETTER BE THERE". The next morning Ed got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough, there was a small box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a bra nd new bathroom scale. Funeral services for Ed have been scheduled for Friday.

The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBSSunday Morning Commentary. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here with a few confessions from my beating heart: I have no clue whoNick and Jessica are. I see them on the cover of People and Usconstantly when I am buying my dog biscuits and kitty litter. I often ask the checkers at the grocery stores. They never know who Nick andJessica are either. Who are they? Will it change my life if I knowwhothey are and why they have broken up? Why are they so important?
I don't know who Lindsay Lohan is either, and I do not care atallabout Tom Cruise's wife.
Am I going to be called before a Senate committee and asked if Iama subversive? Maybe, but I just have no clue who Nick and Jessica are.
If this is what it means to be no longer young. It's not so bad.
Next confession:
I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. Anditdoes not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. Idon't feel discriminated against. That's what they are: Christmastrees.
It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, "Merry Christmas" to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me inaghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothersand sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me atall that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection nearmy beach house in Malibu . If people want a creche, it's just as finewith me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.
I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. Ithink people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushedaround, period. I have no idea where the concept came from thatAmerica is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution,and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.
Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come fromthat we should worship Nick and Jessica and we aren't allowed to worshipGod as we understand Him?
I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too.
But there are a lot of us who are wondering where Nick andJessicacame from and where the America we knew went to.
In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh,this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it'snotfunny, it's intended to get you thinking.
Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and JaneClayson asked her "How could God let something lik e this Happen?"(regarding Katrina)
Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response.
She said, "I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools,toget out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being thegentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leaveusalone?" (She said the same thing when interviewed after 9- 11)
In light of recent events...terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she wasmurdered,her body found recently) complained she didn't want prayer in ourschools, and we said OK.
Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. the Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love yourneighbor as yourself. And we said OK.
Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our childrenwhenthey misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and wemight damage their self- esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide) Wesaid an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said OK.
Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother themtokill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.
Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we canfigureit out. I think it has a great deal to do with "WE REAP WHAT WE SOW ."
Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonderwhythe world's going to hell.
Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question whatthe Bible says.
Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e- mail and they spread likewildfire but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord,peoplethink twice about sharing.
Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freelythrough cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.
Are you laughing?
Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it tomany on your address list because you're not sure what they believe,orwhat they will think of you for sending it.
Funny how we can be more worried about what other people thinkofus than what God thinks of us.
Pass it on if you think it has merit. If not then just discardit... no one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world isin.
My Best Regards. honestly and respectfully,
Ben Stein

2006 sucked big time, with a few good things.
2005 ended with me in the hospital with heart problems. 2006 we saw the hospital way too much. Liz's thyroid problem ended up with her in a psyciatric hospital in Grand Rapids. She had severe bouts of depression and sucidal thoughts. During 2006 she had surgery for carpell tunnel on her wrist, Planter faciatist on her feet, repair to her speptum, removal of tonsel, soft pallet, andnoids, uvala, and had surgery to prevent more kids. Through all this, whe worked full time and went to school full time.

Donald has left school and has worked many jobs to no avail. He starts next Monday at S&K Men wear.. He has got a very cute girl friend who he is head over heals in love with.
Catherine and moved in with her boy friend , left school, but is happy working full time and playing house. She fell this year while rollerblading and did a facial on the cement. Many stiches and teeth repaired in is back to her bright shinning personality.
Lindsey, after test driving many boyfriend, has one that whe is head over heals in love with. He is a nice boy. She switched high schools and has got her driver license. She got her braces off and is looking beautiful. One New Years eve day she had her appendix removed in emergency surgery.
My year has been rather un eventful. After being ordained as a pastor, my current pastor went balistic and tried to excumnicate me from the refromed church, and have me removed as an elder. After months of church battles, he said , Opps, sorry, my wrong. Then I was removed as choir director because he couldnt win removing me from church. I have had three (strokes). One was confirmed in the hospital, and two happened out side the hospital. One stroke weakened my right side, but everything is back to normal. The Nurologist says it was caused by a cardiac event, and the cardiologist says it is a nurological problem.
During 2006 I performed my first marrage and first funnerel as a pastor.
I am looking forward to 2007. liz and I will celebrate our 25th wedding annaversary.

> TO ALL OF US WHO FORWARD SILLY EMAILS.> I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat poop in the>glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope>that needs sealing.> Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same >reason.>>I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl ( Penny Brown>) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.>>I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the>$15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating>in their special e-mail program.>>I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out>for me, and St. Theresa 's novena has granted my every wish.>>I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant>freaks with no eyes or feathers.>>I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water>buffalo on a hot day.>>Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I >forward>an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.>>Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove>toilet stains.>>I no longer can buy gasoline without taking a man along to watch the car so>a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas.>>I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these>products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.>>I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.>>And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup water in the microwave>anymore because it will blow up in my face...disfiguring me for life.>>I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked>with a needle infected with AIDS.>>I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a >perfume>sample and rob me.>>I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al>Qaeda in disguise.>>I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our>American troops or the Salvation Army. I no longer answer the phone>because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone>bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore , and Uzbekistan .>>I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my >free>replacement pair from Nike .>>I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their>recipe.>>Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown>African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it>bites my butt.>>Thank you too for all the endless advice Andy Rooney has given us. I can>live a better life now because he's told us how to fix>everything.>>And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00 dropped in the>parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting>underneath my car to grab my leg.>>Oh, and don't forget this one either!>>I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gas>companies!>>If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70>minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM this>afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you >to>grow a hairy hump.>I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next>door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician...>Have a wonderful day....>> ----------->New Study A South American scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy>study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain and sexual>activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.>>Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.

THINK ABOUT THIS FOR A MOMENT The Mining Journal News, Marquette , Michigan This text is from a county emergency manager out in the western part of Michigan state after a snow storm last winter. WEATHER BULLETIN Up here in the Northern Plains we just recovered from a Historic event--- may I even say a "Weather Event" of "Biblical Proportions" --- with a historic blizzard of up to 44" inches of snow and winds to 90 MPH that broke trees in half, knocked down utility poles, stranded hundreds of motorists in lethal snow banks, closed ALL roads, isolated scores of communities and cut power to 10's of thousands. FYI: George Bush did not come. FEMA did nothing. No one howled for the government. No one blamed the government. No one even uttered an expletive on TV. Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton did not visit. Our Mayor's did not blame Bush or anyone else. Our Governor did not blame Bush or anyone else either CNN, ABC, CBS, FOX, or NBC did not visit - or report on this category 5 snow storm nobody demanded $2,000 debit cards. No one asked for a FEMA Trailer House. No one looted. Nobody - I mean Nobody demanded the government do something. Nobody expected the government to do anything either. No Larry King, No Bill O'Rielly, No Oprah, No Chris Mathews and No Geraldo Rivera. No Shaun Penn, No Barbara Striesand, No Hollywood types to be found. Nope, we just melted the snow for water. Sent out caravans of SUV's to pluck people out of snow engulfed cars. The truck drivers pulled people out of snow banks and didn't ask for a penny. Local restaurants made food, and the police and fire departments delivered it to the snow bound families.. Families took in the stranded people - total strangers. We Fired up wood stoves, broke out coal oil lanterns or Coleman lanterns. We put on an extra layers of clothes because up here it is "Work or Die". We did not wait for some affirmative action government to get us out of a mess created by being immobilized by a welfare program that trades votes for 'sittin at home' checks. Even though a Category "5" blizzard of this scale has never fallen this early, we know it can happen and how to deal with it ourselves. "In my many travels, I have noticed that once one gets north of about 48 degrees North Latitude, 90% of the world's social problems evaporate." It does seem that way, at least to me. I hope this gets passed on.. Maybe . SOME people will get the message .. The world does Not owe you a living

----- The Month Before Christmas


Twas the month before Christmas When all through our land, Not a Christian was praying Nor taking a stand. See the PC Police had taken away, The reason for Christmas - no one could say. The children were told by their schools not to sing, About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and things. It might hurt people's feelings, the teachers would say December 25th is just a "Holiday". Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it! CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-pod Something was changing, something quite odd! Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa In hopes to sell books by Franken & Fonda. As Targets were hanging their trees upside down At Lowe's the word Christmas - was no where to be found. At K-Mart and Staples and Penny's and Sears You won't hear the word Christmas; it won't touch your ears. Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-si-ty Are words that were used to intimidate me. Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzen On Boxer, on Rather, on Kerry, on Clinton! At the top of the Senate, there arose such a clatter To eliminate Jesus, in all public matter. And we spoke not a word, as they took away our faith Forbidden to speak of salvation and grace The true Gift of Christmas was exchanged and discarded The reason for the season, stopped before it started. So as you celebrate "Winter Break" under your "Dream Tree" Sipping your Starbucks, listen to me.
Choose your words carefully, choose what you say
Shout MERRY CHRISTMAS, not Happy Holiday!

> >Death is certain but the Bible speaks about untimely death! > > Make a personal reflection about this. Very interesting, read until > >the end... It is written in the Bible (Galatians 6:7): "Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. Here are some men and women who mocked God: > > > > JOHN LENNON: > > Some years before, during his interview with an American Magazine, > >he said: "Christianity will end, it will disappear. I do not have to argue > >about that. I am certain. Jesus was OK, but his subjects were too simple, > >Today we are more famous than Him" (1966). Lennon, after saying that the > >Beatles were more famous than Jesus Christ, was shot six times. > > > > TANCREDO NEVES (President of Brazil): > > During the Presidential campaign, he said if he got 500,000 votes > >from his party, not even God would remove him from Presidency. Sure he got > >the votes, but he got sick a day before being made President, then he died > > > > CAZUZA (Bi-sexual Brazilian composer, singer and poet): > > During a show in Canecïo ( Rio de Janeiro ), whilst smoking his > >cigarette, he puffed out some smoke into the air and said: "God, that's for > >you." He died at > >the age of 32 of AIDS in a horrible manner. > > > > THE MAN WHO BUILT TITANIC: > > After the construction of Titanic, a reporter asked him how safe the > >Titanic would be. With an ironic tone he said: "Not even God can sink it" > >The result: I think you all know what happened to the Titanic. > > > > MARILYN MONROE: > > She was visited by Billy Graham during a presentation of a show. He > >said the Spirit of God had sent him to preach to her. After hearing what > >the Preacher had to say, she said: "I don't need your Jesus". A week later, > >she was found dead in her apartment. > > > > BON SCOTT: > > The ex-vocalist of the AC/DC. On one of his 1979 songs he sang: > >"Don't stop me, I'm going down all the way, down the highway to hell". On > >the 19th of February 1980, Bon Scott was found dead, he had been choked by > >his own vomit. > > > > > >CAMPINAS/SP IN 2005 > > In Campinas, Brazil a group of friends, drunk, went to pick up a > >friend. The mother accompanied her to the car and was so worried about the > >drunkenness of her friends and she said to the daughter - holding her hand, > >who was already seated in the car: "MY DAUGHTER, GO WITH GOD AND MAY > >HE PROTECT YOU." She responded: "ONLY IF HE (GOD) TRAVELS IN THE TRUNK, > >CAUSE INSIDE HERE IT'S ALREADY FULL" Hours later, news came by that they > >had been involved in a fatal accident, everyone had died, the car could not > >be recognized what type of car it had been, but surprisingly, the trunk was > >intact. The police said there was no way the trunk could have remained > >intact. To their surprise, inside the trunk was a crate of eggs, none were > >broken. > > > > Christine Hewitt: a Jamaican Journalist and entertainer,said the > >Bible (Word of God) was the worst book ever written, in June 2006 she was > >found burnt beyond recognition in her motor vehicle > > > > > > Many more important people have forgotten that there is no other > >name that was given so much authority as the name of Jesus. Many have > >died, but only Jesus died and rose again, and he is still alive. > > > > JESUS!!! > > > > P.S: If it was a joke, you would have sent it to everyone. So are > >you going to have courage to send this?. I have done my part, Jesus said > >"If you are embarrassed about me, I will also be embarrassed about you > >before my father." > > > > What benefit does it have, if a man gains the whole world but loses > >his soul? What can man give in exchange of his soul? (Mathew 16:26).

Car Insurance. In Michigan you must have it. That is the good idea. Do you remember the good ole days when it was your driving record and type of car you have that dictated your premiums. For the middle to upperclass, car insurance is not problem. What make it difficult for the rest of us is credit based insurance. If you've had a perfect driving record for your whole driving life, but your credit score come up short, you will pay the max. In other words the less you make, the more you pay. Poor people paying for the rich. Another reason why the rich get richer. Insurance companies use the bogas reasoning that the credit score will forcast how you are driving. This is another reason why we should have Govt. control insurance. We are the Govt.

I have never had an accident, but due to major medical problems during the last four years, my credit has been hit bad. I now pay major premiums because of my credit score. ( I have no violations). My driving is still good if not better, but I am a higher risk.

Lets hear your response.

Whats up Doc. Have you ever gone to the doctor and be just as confused after you left. There is a reason they call medicine a practice. They still are practicing. The newpapers says that the medical care in Muskegon is top notch. Mercy Hospital is supposedly the reason for this. Hackley Hospital is having a tough time making ends meet. Let take a look at this.

1) To get medical care you have to have insurance. This requires you to have a job that supplies health coverage. If you don't have a job, or your job doesnt offer insurance, you have to pay out of pocket. If you can't afford to pay out of pocket, you can apply for medicaid. Dick DeVos made a brilliant observation during his ill fated run for Gov. of Michigan. "There is not problem with health insurance , if you have a job." "If you don't have a job, don't look for the govt. to support you." This is also the theme of the republican party. If there are no jobs, then there is no health insurance. Even when companies furnish health insurance, the out of pocket expense is getting higher and higher. This is health insurance out of control. Prescription have gotten so out of control that companies like Walmart etc. are offer priscription deals to get you into their stores. The Social Security drug programs are a joke, and are only a benifit to the insurance companies. Having a national health care program, like Canada, is the only way. Don't let self serving idiots try to tell you that having the govt. run the medical programs is wrong. Remember , the Govt. is you. You vote for the govt and it's programs, not big business.

Let have your input. Tomorrow I will talk about the joke called "car insurance".

A Different Christmas Poem



The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,
I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.
My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,
My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.
Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,
Transforming the yard to a winter delight.
The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,
Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.


My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,

Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.
In perfect contentment, or so it would seem,
So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.
The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near,
But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear.
Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know,

Then the sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.


My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,
And I crept to the door just to see who was near.
Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,
A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.
A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old,
Perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold.
Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,
Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.


"What are you doing?" I asked without fear,
"Come in this moment, it's freezing out here!
Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve,
You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!"
For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,
Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts...
To the window that danced with a warm fire's light
Then he sighed and he said "Its really all right,

I'm out here by choice. I'm here every night."



"It's my duty to stand at the front of the line,
That separates you from the darkest of times.
No one had to ask or beg or implore me,
I'm proud to stand here like my fathers before me.
My Gramps died at 'Pearl on a day in December,"
Then he sighed, "That's a Christmas 'Gram always remembers."
My dad stood his watch in the jungles of 'Nam',
And now it is my turn and so, here I am.
I've not seen my own son in more than a while,
But my wife sends me pictures, he's sure got her smile.

Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag,
The red, white, and blue... an American flag.
I can live through the cold and the being alone,
Away from my family, my house and my home.
I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet,
I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat.
I can carry the weight of killing another,
Or lay down my life with my sister and brother...


Who stand at the front against any and all,
To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall."
"So go back inside," he said, "harbor no fright,
Your family is waiting and I'll be all right."
"But isn't there something I can do, at the least,
"Give you money," I asked, "or prepare you a feast?
It seems all too little for all that you've done,
For being away from your wife and your son."


Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,
"Just tell us you love us, and never forget.
To fight for our rights back at home while we're gone,
To stand your own watch, no matter how long.
For when we come home, either standing or dead,
To know you remember we fought and we bled.
Is payment enough, and with that we will trust,
That we mattered to you as you mattered to us."

PLEASE, Would you do me the kind favor of sending this to as many p
eople as you can? Christmas will be coming soon and some credit is due
to our U.S.service men and women for our being able to celebrate these
festivities. Let's try in this small way to pay a tiny bit of what we
owe. Make people
stop and think of our heroes, living and dead, who sacrificed themselves
for
us.

S

So much to do I just can't think of where to start. It is 27 days until christmas and I havn't even started my christmas shopping. I just realized I need money for christmas shopping. I just sat down and tried to figure out how I can save money for christmas shopping. Here is my list

1- Don't pay the rent. This would create a problem since I would have no place to store my christmas gift as I would have no place.

2- Pay the rent and don't pay the car payment. I wouldn't be able to go anywhere without a car which would include christmas shopping.

3- Don't pay the gas and electric. It gets dark pretty early and I wouldn't be able to see the gifts that I bought. I would end up wearing all the christmas gifts to keep warm

4- Instead of buying gifts, draw pictures for everyone. That worked real well when I was young.

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!
1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.
2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.
3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.
4. Children seldom misquote you.
In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own .
6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.

ADVICE FOR THE DAY:
Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day.
AND FINALLY:
IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE: "TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!!

Rosie ODonnel is such an idiot. She claims that Kelli Ripa was homophobic because Kelli did not like her co-host putting his hand in her face. Her co-host has not come out of the closet and Rosie is calling him gay. Rosie, If you only had a brain.

The actor who costared on Sienfeld use racial slurs during his comedy routine. He lambassted a colored man because he was being heckled. Although the tyrade was in poor taste, the audience laughed for a while until they realized it was not part of the act. The Colored man used white racial words back towards the stage. There is more than enough blame to go around. The only one who came out ahead was the people who made an illegal video tape.

Why is it that our hollywood best are trying to be politcal experts.

THE BOX OF CHOCOLATES


For all of us who are married, were married,

wish you were married, or wish you weren't

married, this is something to smile about the

next time you open a box of chocolates:



Sally was driving home from one of her business

trips in Northern Arizona When she saw an elderly

Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.

As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped

the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would

like a ride.

With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into

the car. Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain

to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman.

The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at

everything she saw, studying every little detail,

until she noticed a white bag on the seat next to

Sally.



"What in bag?" asked the old woman. Sally

looked down at the white bag and said, "It's

a box of chocolates. I got it for my husband".

The Navajo woman was silent for another

moment or two. Then speaking with the quiet

wisdom of an elder, she said:



"Good trade."

Now that I am out of bed, I will share a few things. My son is coming home today. He tried his hand at door to door sales with a company out of Baltimore. They moved from location to location starting in Baltimore and ending in Daytona Beach Florida. This was not his forte. I truthfully can't say whos forte it is, but in short, he is coming home today. This week he needs to find work.

I am now carrying an event monitor. Since I have had two stroke, the doctors have put this thing on me. When I have another episode, I put this on my chest and it reads my vitals. I then tranfer the information by phone, and then someone tells me if I can kiss my sweet ass goodbye. I have to wear this for a month.

>> Who says nice guys finish last...
>>
>> Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after the night at a business
>> function.
>>
>>
>> He forces himself to open his eyes and the first thing he sees is a
>> couple
>> of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table.
>>
>> And, next to them, a single red rose!
>>
>> Jack looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order,
>> spotlessly
>> clean. So is the rest of the house.
>>
>> He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring
>> back
>> at him in the bathroom mirror and notices a note on the table:
>>
>> "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping
>> - Love you!!"
>>
>> He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast and
>> the
>> morning newspaper.
>>
>> His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son...what happened
>> last
>> night?"
>>
>> "Well, you came home after 3 am, drunk and out of your mind.
>>
>> You broke the coffee table, puked in the hallway and got that black eye
>> when you ran into the door."
>>
>> "So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose
>> and
>> breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"
>>
>> His son replies, "Oh, THAT!...Mom dragged you to the bedroom and when
>> she
>> tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, BITCH, I'm
>> married!!!".
>>
>> Broken table - $200
>>
>> Hot breakfast - $5
>>
>> Red Rose bud - $3
>>
>> Two aspirins - $0.25
>>
>> Saying the right thing, at the right time... Priceless

> When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me

> that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to

> take care of first, the truck, the car, fishing, always something more

> important to me.

> Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.

> When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass,

> busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.

> I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.

> I was gone only a few minutes. When I came out again I handed her a

> toothbrush. "When you finish cutting the grass," I said, "you might as

> well sweep the side walk."

> The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

> Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and

> the other is a husband.

There is nothing wrong with me? Stop being a baby. Its all in your head. I got the report from my neurologist. It confirms that I have had two strokes. The strokes are not caused by anything in my head. He confirmed that it is caused by a cardiac event. I am now being sent back to the cardiologist with his finding. My heart has failed at times to supply enough preasure. Consiquently lack of blood flow to the brain has caused these stroke events. Now it is back to the cardiologist to figure out why this is happening. I sometimes wonder if I am confused by the strokes, or the doctors.

Prayer

Be carefull of what you pray for. In politics, the dems have gained a big step up. What they do with it is what I pray for. Republican rule has been catastrophic. Not only have the Reps done little positive, the dems have made sure that they undermind the majority party at all crossroads. Now the dems have the majority and we get to see how the Rep. work from the weaker side. We prayed for change, and we got it.

I hope we are not like the cat above, and get eaten by a shark. He is praying for fish.

Republicans are wondering what happened. Let see. War, scandal, greed, with the rich getting richer, and the poor getting poorer. Big business rules while the working class suffer.

The Democrats came more toward the center while the Republicans went farther right. Here in Michigan, the abuse of power by the Republicans led to their demise in the state house. While Michiganians overturned affirmative action, they cut money toward education. Now that people who are not gualified for a job, cannot go back to school because the money is not there, and cant hunt doves.

My observation is that there was a lot of coin flipping. Head we win, tails we lose. Only time will tell which side the coin landed on.

Here is a strange tale. Sometime in 1931, Nikola Tesla the famed scientist and inventor, brought his nephew and 12 tubes to Buffalo, NY. Tesla inserted the tubes into the dashboard of a modified Pierce Arrow. The nephew then drove the car around the city, at speeds of up to 90 MPH. After the experiment, Tesla removed the tubes, parked the car in a barn outside of Buffalo and left. What became of the car is not known. Was this truly an electric car? Or was it something else entirely? Tesla claimed that the car was powered "from the aether", meaning out of forces surrounding us. He claimed that this force could be harnessed for cars, boats, and households.

A friend of mine continues to impress me and everyone else with his fantasy nurse. Everytime I try to invision my fantasy nurse, this is what pops up.




I keep trying but failing. Finally I came up with this. Maybe she could be a nurse

Thank God this is election week. Ive had more people wanting my attention. The republicans, democrats, and other celler dwellers. They really want my vote, and once they receive it, they will forget who voted for them. They have spent soo many months telling lies about their opponent, they won't know the difference between a lie and the truth. Once they are elected, they will chase skirts, commit adultery, and try to fashion their life after Bill Clinton. After they have begged for our vote, they will tell us to mind our own business. Their promises are like a fart in the wind. Can't we just turn down the slate, and ask for new candidates. Lets give every voting person a number, and have a giant lottery. If the person doesn't want the job, pick another number.

Someone's Oberservations

Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

EVER WONDER Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"

? Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

Birthdays

This week I have another one of those days. It only happens once a year and maybe most people will remember what birthdays are for. NOTHING. You get to be reminded that you are getting older. My grey hair, flabby mid section, fleeting memory, and other physical things remind me daily.
People get to sing to you. Most people who sing to you shouldn't sing at all.
I'm on the other side of the hill and it is all downhill from here. I don't have brakes.
With age come wisdom. BS Just ask my kids. I'm as dumb as dirt and just as old.

My birthday reminds me that my wifes birthday is in 10 days. She gets prettier every year and I am so lucky. Thats why I like to celebrate her birthday.

My birthday also reminds me that halloween is over, and my mask is still attached and real.

Before you start feeling sorry for me, don't. God has given me a great life. I come from a great family, I have a great wife and kids whom I love dearly. Who needs lots of money..................................... A little money might be nice.


Before anyone asks how old I am, you must answer these questions.
1- Do you like your front teeth.
2- I know where you live.
3- My name is not in the obituaries, will yours be?
4- I just might have pictures of you that you don't want published.


WHY IS THERE BIRTHDAY CAKE?. Everyone might have a piece, and the rest gets old and thrown away. Kind of reminds me of getting older.

Well, Im back to designing my retirement home. What is the best way to waterproof a refrigerator box?

Marriage and Death.

This week I will be officiating a funeral, and reafirming vows of a couple who have been married 25 years. This is a first for me on both .
One of the reasons I became an ordained pastor was to help those who have been alienated from their churches. This is the case in both the funeral and the reaffirmation. This is how I know that God is leading me.

Sunday's Muskegon Chronicle had an article about a family that donated film and diaries from the start of Nazi occupation of Austria. This occupation was not military and was at first welcomed by Austrians. The persacution of the Jews started with half truths and deceptive political messages. Todays politicians use the same methods. It give me a chill when I see republican and democrats using history as their advertising platforms. They seem to think that if it worked for the nazis it will work for them. Our political parties today are as bad as the early nazi party. They lie to the people, and the people believe them because they want something better. Don't give away your rights to a political party. If a person running for office, hasnt done the job, replace them. Don't listen to excuses. DON'T VOTE ALONG PARTY LINE. Granholm hasn't done the job, replace her. Legislature hasn't done the job, replace them. It is that simple.

I was just listening to the Edwin Hawkins Singers singing "o Happy Day." A simple song with a simple message. The message is, "O happy day when Jesus washed my sins away." This song made the top ten pop songs many years ago. Today the message would be lost as well as the song. It would be deemed offensive and politically incorrect.
I saw a show on TV that was called the Black Actors Awards. Now if they had a White Actors award it would be called racist and politically incorrect.

Dr. King said to judge a person not by the color of his skin. University of Michigan apposes this by favoring blacks over whites. Even though they are against the words of Dr. Martin Luther King, they consider themselves racially sensitive and politically correct. They call it affirmative action. This was a tool used to level the field for all people.

This past week has seen three sports announcers removed from their jobs for make racially insensative remarks. Freedom of speach is for everyone, as long as it does not violate laws .

Maybe we should see how we can get along with our brothers, instead of finding a wasy to piss him off. Lets not pick out our shortcomings, but rejoice in this melting pot we call freedom.

Governor Granholm and Dick DeVos had the last of their debates. By their picture above, I think that everything went as planned

A friend of mine had a terrible accident at the sappi paper mill. His arm got caught in a conveyor belt. After being trapped for 5 plus hours, he was found. He was flown to Grand Rapids, and had to have his arm amputated at the shoulder. Just thought you might want to give a prayer for him and his recovery.

This is a manager. He is a chain smoker. He tells pitcher that he will tell them when they will pitch, hitters when they will hit, and doesnt care who they are, or who they think they are. He runs the team, and gives credit where credit is due. The minute the Tigers beat the A's, he walked over to their dugout to congragulate them for their success this year.

Did I get your attention? Sometimes I wonder if anybody reads my dribble. Sometime I feel that the world needs a shot and sometimes the world thinks I should be shot.
My son, is in Baltimore training for a job selling cleaners. He found out today that it is door to door primarily, but he doesnt mind it. He gets to travel on someone elses dime, and hopefully pay off his bills, go back to get his degree, and enter the seminary.

This week has been a challenge for me medically, nothing severe, just emotional which challenges my heart and forces me to take it easy. In my head, I would love to go out and run a marathon. My heart health tells me that if I do, I'm a dead duck.

The good things this week are that my son is making an attempt to progress in life, and is not just playing it safe. My wife is back in school and working full time.
It snowed, but didnt stay on the ground. The wind didnt blow me away.

When you think you have it bad, just picture this nurse coming at you and be thankful.

Did you ever feel that everyone was pissing on you. In the news it was shown that major prescription drug compnaies are giving millions of dollars to companies who make cheaper substitute prescriptions, to keep their product off the market. This forces people to buy more expensive drugs.

Banks can float your money for up to five days, but you can't float a check for 24 hours.

Gas companies can raise their prices for what ever reason, when ever.

Insurance companies can charge a perfect driver more if his credit is less then perfect.

You can't pray in school, but you can on national tv.

Democrats are suppose to be for the poor, but the major democrats are multi- millionaires. ( big business)

Republicans are suppose to be the moral standard keepers, but look where the pedifile is hiding. (big business)

You loose your opinion when you vote along party lines. The party in charge will piss on you.

#1- Stupid people are allowed to vote.

We have cats. Most of the time they are calm, once in a while one of them steals my prozac. I'm still trying to figure out which one. I suspect it is Pauwz.

What is hammertime. It the time for politicians to start telling the whole truth. It the time when all bills come due. It is the time to grow up and join the human race. Its time to practice what you preach. It the time for the Tigers to win the world championship. If you owe me money and avoid me, its hammer time. If you insult my wife and family, it's hammer time. If you hurt my friends, it's hammer time.

My son is off again. In his search for employment he has landed a job with Protek Chemical. He will leave tomarrow by bus to Baltimore. They will pay for his lodging and food while he is trained. They are paying everything up front with a base salary during his training. After he is trained he will work on commision. I guess when you are young, single, and no ties, the world is your playground

This friday is "FRIDAY THE 13TH."
This congers up images of black cats, walking under ladders, horseshoes, throwing salt over your shoulder, luck rabbits foot (unlucky for the rabbit), and lucky charms. How about peoples fear of black magic.
I continue to read articles where people are trying to ban Harry Potter books because they has a black overtone. They deal in occault and should be banned.
As a pastor and a christian, I enjoy these books and movies. They are entertainment. If I feel offended I close the book, turn off the TV, or walk out of the movie studio.
The picture of the black cat, is my son's cat,Samantha. I don't think she is bad luck. What are your superstitions?

How does it feel. Everyday our political leaders are kicking us off the building. Most people agree that the middle class is getting kicked out. The rich and the poor are supported by the middle class.

Tomorrow night, there will be a debate between Granholm and DeVos. On the other channel will be the baseball playoff. (Go tigers)

Donald Trump is selling another book on how to get rich. If people keep buying his books he doesn't have to worry about keeping his secret. He stays rich because people keep buying his books.

The national GOP is in trouble over Folleys sexual problems. It has to be the Democrat fault. They kept it secret until just before the elections.

North Korea tested a atomic bomb underground. The US is pissed off because someone else has the bomb. Russia is upset because there could be one more country competing for nucular sales. China is upset because they are next door. Japan is upset because they did not build it. Iran is upset because there is another idiot with the bomb.

The Dems blame the Republican, the Rep. blame the Dems, the govt blames the world, and we get kicked off the building by our leaders and their political parties.

Hackley Hospital is losing money. They just gave everyone a raise, and laid off a bunch more. Mercy Hospital is importing nurses in an effort to save money. Major companies are leaving Michigan in droves and we want to re-elect the current administration. Vote them all out and start over. Kick them off the building.

I found out today from a friend that John W. Peterson has passed on. He wrote some great christian music that many christians have enjoyed. Last night, before the worship service we sang a few of his songs. (we had not heard of his passing) God does work in mysterious ways.

It was sad new this week about another school shooting. This has been and will continue to be a problem. I pulled my daughter out of Mona Shore High School because of death threats, kids carrying knifes and box cutters, and un authorized people roaming the halls. Drugs are readily available and the administration does nothing. They are a problem waiting to happen and I pray that they will get smart soon. These are not days of old. Time have changed and so must we.

This may sound like a real sexist remark, but so be it. Most of our problems started when both parents had to go to work. This started with the women movement. I have no problem with women working, but when this started, there was no consideration for the children. Now you have two equally important jobs, and no one to watch over the kids. Now that the baby boom is over, there will be a shortage of jobs, because of less demand. Household incomes will drop, and the middle and lower class will lose out.

Your elected officials then raise the minimum wage. This is great, except that everything else will go up. If an employer has to pay his employees more, he will raise his prices, not cut into his profit. Many companies just hire part time help. They don't have to pay benifits.

You women may have come a long way, but it all about greed to the males.

Politicians just want to be the fat cats.

Tiger pride is back in Michigan. The Tigers are even with the hated New York Yankees in the best of five series playoff. The Tigers are a team of mostly young players who are playing the game together. This is team work. They just might want to take a clue from last years Pistons playoff. They stopped playing as a team, and got their butts handed to them in the playoffs. Tigers. get your work done first and all the rest will fall into place. The team got you here . Go Tigers

This is my father and me. He is in a rest home in Grand Rapids. He has had Althimerz since 2001. For the last three years he has been about the same. He doesn't really know anyone, can't walk, can't hold a conversation, and can't remember what he just said, and can't hold his bladder. He has to be changed, and has to have help feeding himself. When he is awake, he sits in his chair and watches everyone.
The reason I bring him up, is that when I feel down, I look at him and thank God that I am better off.. In that same breath, I wish I could take that away from him because he does not deserve it. After all he goes through, he always has a smile for everyone.
With my disablilities from high blood preasure, heart desease, and depression, maybe I need to smile alittle more. Maybe that is what my Dad is still teaching me.

I can't find my dog. We were playing fetch with the frizbee and he disappeared.
This is the democratic version. The truth is I lost my dog years ago. Yes, we did play fizbee, and the picture I found on line. The Domocrats and Granholm are doing the same thing with their advertising. They are not lieing, but they are not telling the truth.